Wee Brella at Football

Let me introduce Wee Brella. With her umbrella, she could have been the model for Mary Poppins. She was passionate about two things, romantic films and the local football team. One particular Saturday, despite the fact that they all knew each other, the two local teams were trying as hard as they could to kick lumps out of their opposite number. The referee let most of it go - for diplomatic reasons. It wasn’t unknown for a referee who gave the opposition needless fouls and especially penalty kicks to need a police escort to get him to the bus stop. The river was handy and remember, there was a war on.

That particular day, one of the opposition forwards was giving a good-looking young lad from our village the run around. Our lad just couldn’t get a decent tackle at the forward, either to get the ball, or maim the forward enough to slow him down. It really was a man’s game in those days.

This dribbling round our lad didn’t fit the script as Wee Brella felt it should be.

The ball came out just in front of her and the forward came to take the throw-in.

‘What d’you think you’re doing, makin’ oor Billy look daft?’ demanded Brella.

‘It’s no’ me, he’s doin’ it all himself. Billy couldnae take the ball off a haystack,’ the forward told her, smiling at his own humour as he stepped back to take the throw-in.

He didn’t do much more that day. Maybe he was suffering from concussion from the clout wee Brella gave him with her umbrella.

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